Israeli here; IDF does not want Chareidim, nor does it really want the Mizrachnikim. They are incompatible with the ethos of the IDF and do not share its vision. They will never be generals and upper brass. On the other hand, it IS unfair that the chilonim need to shoulder the entire burden.
In addition, the army is also tasked with creating a homogenized society, making everyone into the typical Israeli. The Chareidim – perhaps rightly so – consider this an existential threat, and cannot serve in such an army. Indeed, the degree where army participation and rank form the self-image of the soldiers here is out of all proportion to their actual service. A soldier has grater cache than a doctor, even though the doctor may save ten lives a day.
The answer – to most people – is that the army needs to be totally reformed. It might not be a bad idea to do it right after this war, where the army leaders were caught so clueless and unaware. It certainly looks like Hashem is making things happen here in Israel!