I agree with OP to some extent.
It’s a day of mourning, and not for “Inspiration”, do that Yud AV. Our society has gotten wrapped up a little too much in the AREN’T WE SO AMAZING AND SPECIAL AND WE NEED TO BE HAPPY!!! ATZVUS IS TERRIBLE!!!” That’s all true, but not what TishaB’Av is. Tisha B’Av is for you to feel sad, and broken. And try feeling that all day. Tisha B’Av is meant to suck. Mourning sucks.
Weren’t we taught that a dor in which the Bais Hamikdash is not rebuilt is a dor in which it would’ve been destroyed? i.e., the point is that on Tisha B’Av we need to focus on the fact that we still hate each other. “But that’s depressing?” Yes, it is. It’s meant to be. People are way too afraid of experiencing negative emotions.
I know links aren’t allowed, so I’m going to try posting this as a non link and if you’re interested just fix it. . But this from Dovid Orlofsky is something you should be watching on Tisha B’Av. I know it’s Orlofsky, but there isn’t a joke to be found. Just pure Mussar,
https: //torahanytime.com/lectures/ 20692
I don’t get the Women argument though, that’s not the issue.