I suspect that there are quite a few who might comment here, sharing their wisdom and putting your doubts and questions to rest. Clearly, the “opposing” concepts you listed are not contradictory at all. Instead of my attempting to show you (my arrogance) how to answer your question, I will simply draw your attention to the writings that have enlightened Klal Yisroel for centuries.
I suggest you review the chapters in Mesilas Yeshorim that address the subject. Next (I’m not suggesting any priorities), try the Orchos Tzaddikim. Many other sefrei mussar are precious, to include Chovas Halevavos, Michtav M’Eliyahu, and numerous others. After studying them, revisit the question, and share any of your “contradictions” here.