yankel > it seems that this rave sized you up – even without reading your posts – as someone with whom he has no common starting points
> thats why he withdrew from the argument
I don’t think so, and I was pretty polite and reserved and made sure to express my agreement on the good points he made. I did not even say what bothers me. I asked whether anything bothered him … He continued looking for an explanation.
> hazon ish writes in letter that if there is no common starting point between two divergent opinions , then arguments are futile
this may be the core problem. This presumption that if someone does not agree with your (group) conclusions that they “have no common point” – and presumably your is a Torah point and the other is not is the core problem here.