Equal in stem,? In my area of CS be that Computing Science or CNC engineering. Every neck beard would welcome you and actually for not being gay would spare more of their time to help you than they do for men. But in CS there is one requirement no matter gender is like a law and warning before entering. If you cannot do your own research and work alone however slow and expect 1000 errors before 1 success as a normal thing and if winning is not what you want but losing and losing again mentally in harsh trial-and-error way of learning. Only then you should enter. Nobody ever will spoonfeed you. If that sounds fun. You are welcome to enter but nobody will even show you an entrance. And if you believe pHD in this field is taken seriously you are wrong. As most you should do bachelors in cs as most of my Revered Benevolent Technocratic Dictators for life of their projects are. And only one earns 500k per year in Linux Kernel development lead. Second earns 2500 per month. And third on paper does not even make any money at all. And off these 31337 people I would tell you somehow, not because of their salary, but because of what they do my respect somehow matches lesser the salary the better.
Linus Torvalds
Patrick Volkerding
Theo de Raadt
So if you want to work hard earn nearly nothing but step by step ignoring haters build something. engineering is for you. I would be amazed to see more women in it. like everynody else.
But the main rule of the internet is this.
There is no women on internet. And every child is FBA agent.