Tal – When I think about my teenage years I do feel some pain. However my life was nothing like the hell you described. I think that what it comes down to is that deep down inside you always believed. Nothing could shake that, and that’s admirable. However I always had doubts, and those doubts became louder and louder as my outrage mounted. Eventually I became free and my life has dramatically improved ever since.
TOHIGHSCHOOLGUY: I understand that you have not read the whole thread, however I already answered your questions. I am 21 and I did not make the decision go to “off the derech” lightly. I have certainly spoken with people. In fact, I had a chavrusah for several years. I stopped believing before I stopped practicing. I made sure I was sure.
To everyone else: I grew up frum so I know all of the mashals you can throw at me. I have heard them all. I know it’s hard for you to understand my decision, but please accept that I did what was right for me.