To Gitty: If you truly do not believe in Judaism, there are people out there who can just about prove it to you (if you want to give them a chance – though none of them have appeared here on YW). But there is another phenomenon that could be making you say that you don’t believe – it’s called cognitive dissonance. Some of your posts indicate that this is what is going on. I actually know a lot about this (so maybe I’m unfairly projecting).
As for happy/unhappy part of it, the discussion is silly. YOU are in control of your own happiness. No one else is. Therefore, you can be happy no matter what happens, whether you are frum or not. So if you say that you are happy, anyone who says they know otherwise is just full of garbage.