i’m no fan of long posts, but i dug thru old emails to find this & only after saw how long it was!!!! btw i cut half it out!!!! mods plz let this go thru!!!!
joke Shidduch Resume:
> Summary and Personal”
> Yichus: Father is a yeshiva educated day trader who learns
> two daily
> sedarim in BMG; has been previously investigated by FBI for fraud but, never did any jail time; big baal tzedaka who has been honored by BMG twice
> mother is a retired BY teacher; youngest child with four brother and 11 sisters all living off of the Lakewood General Fund
> mechutanim from Brooklyn;
other pedigree relatively clean, except for a 4th cousin, once removed who attended YU and is now a successful
Ophthalmologist in Teaneck
>Parents looking for: solid learner from Brisk or Lakewood with neither a history of college nor foreseeable parnassa plans who will sit in Kollel indefinitely;
>she is looking for the same;
>father willing to support 10 years @$75k per year, pending no stays in Otisville
> Appearance: dark hair with standard BY hairstyle;
> 5’4″ with dress Size 2
> (Mother’s size after her seventh child: Size 8
> Shadchan: Mrs. Peloni of Lakewood (25% commission)
>
> Dating History: has gone out a few times with no measurable
> success;
> feedback from Mrs. Peloni points to her having the charisma of a carrot
> Education
> K-12: Bais Yaakov of ????
> Seminary: BJJ
> Post-Seminary: Online program to obtain teaching
> certificate from Torah Umesorah
>
> Work Experience
> 1996-1998: Counselor in several backyard camps in Brooklyn and Lakewood
> 2006-2008: Teacher’s aide in BY of Lakewood
>
> Tehillim: completes Sefer once a week while standing in line at Jewish stores
> Posek: Rav C. Kanievsky or Rav Elyashiv if his line is busy
> Internet: only with Torahnet filter on Tati’s business computer
>
> Use of a community Eruv: never (she’s looking for Brisker, remember?!)
>
> Indian Hair Sheitels: only if on sale
> Hobbies: reading Artscroll biographies, Yated, Hamodia, & Mishpacha;
> Her Preferred Dating Venue: Airport lounges without visible TV monitors
> Ideal Wedding: Chossen and Kallah adopt demeanor combining themes of Tisha B’Av and Yom Kippur; eyes-closed Tehillim throughout ceremony;
> kibbudim called up in Yiddish; separate everything including parking;
>no Only simchas posts