Itzik_s,
I’m not writing this because I think SJS needs me to defend her, because she can express her thoughts more articulately and gracefully than I can my own, but rather because your post pained me as well.
The people you describe may well exist, but SJS clearly is not one of them. And calling another frum person a “borderline kofer” is one of the most vicious insults possible, because it strikes at the heart of who we are. Thus such an insult is much worse than accusing someone of being rude, or of posting without thinking.
If every frum person posted as respectfully and carefully as SJS, this would do a lot towards counteracting the anti-frum attitude that exists on the internet. The worst anti-frum insults from others cannot hurt us as much as our own words, and the impression they create, can hurt us.
In the past I’ve found your posts informative and amusing, and this kind of nastiness towards another poster is just not like you.
syriansephardi,
Good for you for working on this!