moish-
YOU ARE NOT LEAVING YOUR FRIENDS by deciding to kiss the mezuza once a day when you leave your house, or if you say ‘asher yotzar’ at least once every day, or start putting on t’fillin once a week, or wake up 1 hour earlier than usual and daven brachos- say, twice a week…. anything, anything small. It does not have to be an area where you have your biggest nisyonos. You don’t have to go there just yet.
As soon as you start putting more spirituality in your life, more focus, more self control, implementing good habits etc- all this will automatically overflow to other areas. The things that were ‘unstoppable’ 2 months ago, suddenly become clearer for what they really are, you see things with a different perspective. And- you have the advantage of a little more self control. You will stop, think, consider. Maybe you’ll do it in the end, but that is a huge step in the right direction!
It’s obviously not magic, but you need to start SOMEWHERE. You will feel so good! Guaranteed! It’s a completely different feeling than if you went out partying. You will feel good about YOURSELF, you will gain confidence… and you will have the positiveness and drive to do more…on and on… it’s a domino affect.
Eventually- yes- you will probably leave this group of friends. But the transition is so gradual and each change so minute. It’s a long process, you will only be capable of seeing the big change, the big picture, somewhere far down the road.
But that’s not at all the point- how far down the road you do or don’t get. We are here to try and fight each battle as it comes. How far we need to go is up to Hashem.
Even if your heart is not in it at first, just start. It WILL turn out well.
Being that you refuse to read the eitza thread, I’ll post some here- coming up- stay tuned 😉