Joseph:
1: You are confusing the chiyuv not to accept Tzedaka Vs. the Chiyuv to give. One who is poor is Chayiv not to rely on the Tzibbur if at all possible (ex. “Asai Shabbtcha Chol V’al Yitztarich L’briyos”, “Lo Ledai Matnas Basar V’dam”, etc.). However, if needed (or they choose not to fulfill their chiyuvim), I must give (prioritizing according to halacha).
2: The gemorah Kesubos 49b explicity says that one who does not provide for their children should be donounced in the streets, saying “A raven provides for its children and this man does not”. The Rambam in Ishus:
??? ???? ???? ??????? ????, ?? ??? ???? ??????? ???? ??????? ??????, ?? ????? ??? ?? ????. ???? ?????, ?????? ?? ?????? ????? ?????; ??? ?? ???–?????? ??, ???????? ????, ??????? ??. ?? ?? ???–??????? ???? ?????? ???????, ????? ????? ??? ????? ???? ???? ????, ???? ??? ???? ???? ???, ???? ?? ?? ???????. ???? ????? ???? ?????, ??? ??.
I’m not saying this should be done (Ask a Rav:-), but being that tuition is a “basic need”, don’t say one burns for following the Gemarah. (Emotional Judaism?)