There is a great purim shpiel called “CSI: Shidduchim”. The conversation between the private investigator and shul Rav is priceless.
“So tell me Rabbi, how long do you know the Goldfeins (made uo name)”
Rabbi: “32 years, and the girl nechama I know since shes born”.
PI: “Excellent, so Rabbi, do you remember her Bilirubin score”, was she at the top of her nursery”?
Another exchange.
“Does the father set aside time to learn”?
“Yes, he attends a daf yomi shiur in the morning and a halacha shiur in the evening”
“Excellent, do you know the name of the maggid shiur?”
“No, but if you call the Bureau of Prisons, they can get you the contact info of the chaplain. Let me add, this is a fine facility, glatt kosher, chassidishe shechita exclusively”.