I would ONLY give cash or a check to a new couple. They do NOT need your recycled re-gifts, and unless you know for sure that they like silver, or do not have certain appliances or vases, or candy dishes, etc. please don’t give stuff like that to them, just to be rid of it. Save those things for housewarming gifts when you are invited over. A bar-mitzvah bochur can also use money. If you absolutely feel you can’t bring yourself to do that, give a gift certificate to a seforim store in his neighborhood. Don’t assume that “REALLY GREAT” sefer that just came out, will be of interest to a 13 year old boy. If it is, he will use the certificate to buy it. Or maybe he will be a bunch of Shwekey tapes. Either way, it will be something he wants.
And Bein Hasedorim, while everything you said is true, IMO it still is the right thing to give a gift of something tangible. It doesn’t have to break your bank. Many bochurim go to weddings of friends and give nothing. I personally think that is wrong, they could all chip in, if money is an issue (as it usually is for a bochur) and get one gift from “the chevra.” I do feel that iof a wedding is out of town and the bochurim have to pay for travelling and accommodations, then, maybe their attendance is also a gift.