A good first step will be to overcome this narishkeit that has somehow infiltrated yiddishe (mostly litvish but also to a degree chasidish) homes that there’s something wrong with working.
Kollel is for the wealthy and the best of the best learners. This was ALWAYS how it was. Nobody else should be taking tzedakah for learning. You are literally taking food out of the mouths of yidden by redirecting limited resources to your own desires. And don’t tell me you are being moser nefesh for torah. Being moser nefesh for torah means being mkayim the halacha to support your family and only rely on tzedakah when there is no alternative and then after all that still being koveia itim in the morning and night to learn some gemara, halacha and chasidus.
That would be a good first step. Then of course this aversion towards secular studies needs to be tackled. Step by step.