bein_hasdorim, I disagree with you. A friend of mine once told me that he had the following conversation with R’ Pam zt”l: he told R’ Pam that he was dating a girl for a while. He said, “She has amazing middos, her emunah and bitachon are great, and we have great conversations.”
“So, what’s the problem?” asked R’ Pam
“I don’t think she’s good looking. But, what kind of a reason is looks to turn down such a great girl!”
R’ Pam replied, “Oy, what are thigns coming to! It’s of the utmost importance that a person be physically attracted to their spouse! If there is no attraction, the marriage is doomed to fail, and the person is putting himself in severe danger for terrible aveiros! We need to teach bochurim that looks ARE important!”