Reply To: Children and Prizes–Hindering Intrinsic Self Worth

Well, I think the Torah, talks of Torah as a “Book of Obligations”. It is only society’s influence that has us believe that obligation denotes burden.

When one fulfills one’s obligation towards onself, by keeping healthy and clean, should that breed a burdensome feeling and lead to resentment? “Ugh, I just hate taking these showers…and brushing teeth? why should I? they’re going to get dirty tomorrow when I eat anyway?”……but if I get a sticker on my chart –that’s ok for a 6 yr old but at (you fill in the age) then I’ll take a shower and brush teeth etc…..that’s a problem.

My point was, the fact that we are fulfilling the obligations that Hashem has set forth for us, to fulfill our potential as an Am HaNivchar, should essentially give us a deep sense of fulfillment and even gratitude to be able to achieve great things.

The constant positive reinforcement should eventually be innate, and therefore not require constant outside positive reinforcement. At a young age we can start out with the outside reward, but then have it lead to internal reward. BALANCE.