“I would say, like HIPPA, let the kids decide who they want to allow to talk with the shadchan, even informally. I think that my kids, if older, would still value my opinion. “
There are kids who are so inexperienced, or frightened, or NOT ready to date, that they will give over their entire shidduch process to their parents and the shadchan. Yes, there are kids who need their parents’ VALUABLE input, but most kids who are already 25 or more, should be grown up about dating, and even if they go through a shadchan, should speak to the shadchan directly, and then follow through on the dating themselves, without the shadchan making the dates for them and without mommy and daddy making their decisions for them. While it is true parents have more experience, it does not mean their agenda is always what is right for their child. Parent should be involved, but unles THEY are going out on the date, the boy or girl should take achrayus for themselves. And I agree that even 25 is a bit too old for this.