AZ, I realize that there is something unique about the mitzvah/chesed of making a shidduch in that it is expected (rightfully) to pay the baal mitzvah (shadchan).
Yet I have to wonder
– are there any other chassadim that we should pay for? Not just show our appreciation (a friend I drive on a regular basis occasionally buys us grape juice, candy, etc. but just that, occasionally and irregularly) but flat rate compensation? (Not talking about gas and driving expenses, let’s think about other chasadim or mitzvos.)
– in whatever literature there is about shadchanus, is there a precedent for paying before the shidduch is cemented?
– did you or your parents compensate all the shadchanim you may have used (assuming you went out with more than one girl; if you didn’t think of your siblings) similarly? Is it because they are less evolved than you? Because the crisis wasn’t as acute and by golly we got to get these girls dates by any means necessary? Other?