To Wolf and Anuron – I think that this inyan is a complicated one. I personally know of an incident where a boy wanted one thing and the parents wanted another. The parents were different than the boy and didn’t really know him, which frustrated the boy as he really wanted to get married and couldn’t find himself with the shidduchim that his mother suggested. He was known to some truly solid, yeshivish woman in the area who wanted to help him, and they found a girl who according to everyone’s opinion, was perfect for this boy. The women contacted the parents who refused the shidduch. These women were terribly upset and frustrated for the boy, so they contacted a Rov who told them that they must work with the parents, and were not to try to do anything without their consent.
This is the real end of the story.
It just so happens that a year later, both the girl and the boy were married to someone else.