Oomis, re agunos: I’ve said before that as Rav Shteinman shlita uses this term in the kol koreis I have no quarrel with anyone else using it (though I do think it’s a reshus, not chov, and I am not comfortable with it myself). Akaros is over the top.
Back to the original question, folks, get a clue. When we B”H had a successful shidduch in the family we asked around to find out what the going rate is (a layperson was the shadchan, who had no shingle and preassigned rates), and guess what, we found out pretty easily. I can’t believe that people don’t do the same. Why is the answer to this so elusive for so many?