Cherry –
The problem is, while my Rov / Rebbe is the person whom I and my famlily turn to for life’s complicated choices, he has very little impact on the person on the vaad, if that person is not from my kehilla.
Skinnymum –
For the most part, no one stays home beacuse no school will take them. True, the school that says yes may not be 1st choice, but in the end, you and your child and succeed in the school that you do settle on. Much like a shidduch, it may not meet every criteria, but as long as its in the ballpark, you can make a good go of it. And like a shiduch, sometimes they get derailed becuase of a meddling outsider. But that does not mean the game is over; it just means you go to plan B and make it as good as(if not better than) plan A. That’s where syata d’shmaya comes into the picture.