Smartcookie, on one hand you say that five years in kollel isn’t a big deal. OTOH you talk about the breaking point being 3 kids.
What about expecting your fourth by your fifth anniversary?
I’m sorry but I get really frosted when I hear how cavalierly the kids talk about “a few years in kollel” when even ONE YEAR can mean tremendous mesirus nefesh. This leads to the most average, or even below bachur, expecting to learn for a good few years because less in pas nisht. If you look around, a lot of middle aged shtark maggidei shiur, roshei yeshiva, and rabbanim were out of kollel by the five year mark. Remarkably, five years in kollel was more than adequate a foundation for gadlus.
People need a reality check.