Modesty INCLUDES speech as well. I know that and I am glad that you are discussing modesty of speech.. Stop bashing Men. Hashem placed a that feeling so that children will be born, because it is needed in the world. Being that is the case a if a woman is not careful and another man thinks about her, she will be responbile. Please don’t even compare the horrible crime of rape. Surely, little children whom this crime has happened to did not ask or do anything to deserve such a thing. The man has to try himself, not to look. YOU are not a man, you have no idea at all how a man thinks. You don’t know how hard it is for them not to look. YOU, as a MARRIED frum woman, must do all possible not to give another man any reason to even look at you. I am not saying wear a bag over you head. You know very well as an married adult woman, what a man is attracted to. Don’t accenuate your attractions out in public. I am not a man either. I heard a story of a Rebettizin, she asked her friend if she was available to get a ride with her to a wedding. The rebetzin was not sure if she was going, but she just wanted to make sure, she had a way to get there. The Rebetzin called her friend to say she could not make it. Her friend decided to ask the Rebetzin before she left if she changed her mind. When the Rebitzin, answered the door, she was dressed nicely and her face made up. The friend thought she had changed her mind and said, “oh so you are coming”? But the Rebitizin said, no, she was staying home, because her husband was home. Ladies, Hashem gave us mirrors, makeup, perfume, and attractive clothing for only one reason and one reason only. For your Husbands.
So, since you don’t live in Monsey, Brooklyn, or Lakewood, do you live in Passaic??