2morecents, may I assume you son’s chasunah will resemble his bar mitzva?
One should not assume that just because not marking the occasion worked for one kid it will work for others.
It’s not about fressing or lavish simchos. It’s not about keeping up with the Cohen’s. It’s about showing how important this occasion is for a boy, it’s marking it with simcha. MOST kids, if their parents spend money for other inconsequential things like camp and not on a bar mitzvah celebration, will get not get the simcha and that special feeling of being able to perform all the mitzvos that grownup men do.
I believe one spends where their priorities are. Everything else is lip service.