rebbitzen – “i didnt know that there was a time limit to talking to one’s wife at all.”
According to all the mephurshim I’ve seen, al tarbah does not institute a limit for the amount of talking between spouses, it advises against certain types of speech which are unnecessary and harmful (Avram in MD beautifully explained how the Mishna might be referring to small talk, and I have seen others who say it is referring to loshon hara and demeaning speech).
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aries2756 – “If you are looking to cause problems for couples in their marriage, please go ahead and start talking about issurim such as men not permitted to speak to their wives. There are so many Shalom Bayis symposiums, Rebbeim, therapists trying to help couples to get along and have happy and fulfilling marriages that prove that these type of discussion can be very harmful to the k’lal. Seriously, this is one of the reasons the other thread was started about chumras!”
If something is prescribed by the Torah, you can bet you bottom dollar that following it will not harm you in any way. Of course, this is only if you do what the Torah truly meant, not what some erroneously think it means, and thats why the Rabbonim explain to us just what it is that the Torah truly means. However, if you follow them you can be sure nothing bad will happen because of it.
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oomis1105 – “And many people issued their opinions because they had miserable marriages (the takanah of Rabbeinu Gershom re: marriage to no more than one wife at a time, comes to mind).”
First of all, the cheiram Rabbeinu Gershom is not an “opinion”, it is an issur. Secondly, I was told that the reason behind cheiram Rabbeinu Gershom was that the christians did not allow their clergy to marry at all and therefore RG decided it was a chillul Hashem that the jews looked so occupied with physicality while the goyim were being so ascetic. I have never heard a of a source that says RG had a “miserable marriage”.