aries2756:
“Putting on lipstick and mascara is also assur on Shabbos but I see a lot of women who are definitely wearing fresh lipstick on Shabbos. Is it my place to go over and tell them that they are not allowed to do that? Absolutely not! Because for one thing it is not my business. For another thing, maybe they really didn’t learn it or didn’t apply what they learned to this issue, make-up. And thirdly, if I told them and they continued to do it, it is even a worse aveirah and I don’t want to be a part of that. Here is another example. I have been to the manicure spa many times when I have seen frum women in a rush get their hands and feet done at the same time by two different technicians. Now I was taught (yes in Kallah class by a very machmir teacher) that two people are not allowed to work on you at the same time, it is assur. Only in the case of a niftar or nifteres is more than one person allowed to work on them. That is why you might hear a parent reprimand if they are buttoning a child’s coat not to help them, only one person should do it. So back to my example, when the ladies want to rush me out and come at me two at a time I tell them I am not dead yet and only one of them can work on me at a time. They remember that when I come in but they ask me why the other religious ladies don’t say that to them. Is it my job to tell the other ladies they are wrong? Maybe they were never told what I was told. My mother would say “zei nisht gut’s farzorger”.
Ther is a passuk that says “ho’chaich tocheach es amisecha v’lo sisah alov chait”: “rebuke you shall rebuke my people, and there will not be a sin on you”. However, if you could have stopped an aveira and CH”V did not do so, the aveira goes onto your cheshbon as well. If you see somebody doing something wrong, you are mechuyav to correct them. Now, obviously this must be done in a way that will not push them away, but first and foremost it must be done. Li’mashal, if you saw somebody unintentionally drinking poison, would you say “it is not my business” and walk away?
This whole “mind your own business concept” is of western origin and completely foreign to yiddishkeit. We say “kol yisrael areivim zeh la’zeh”, in both gashmiyus and ruchniyus. There is a famous mashal of a person who is on a cruise ship and hears a loud sound in the room next door. He walks into the room and sees a man drilling a hole into the floor! He screams “What are you doing, you’ll kill us all!” The man calmly replies “Excuse me, but this is my room, and I have the right to do whatever I want here!”