To be honest,the red flags are not always obvious during dating(i just gave NEEDIDEAS a composite of a lot of possibilities).many abusers are great while “winning you over”…and horrific only once they have you and you’re stuck.if it was so obvious during dating…that would make us all pretty stupid to get engaged to them.NEEDIDEAS…ASK HASHEM FOR CLARITY AND FORESIGHT AND YOU WILL BE FINE…hashem doesn’t punish someone who is trying his/her best just because they don’t know better…the main reason some of us needed to have those yissurim was the same reason people have any other nisayon…(yes,all those different reasons)that’s why it would be easier if the general public would not just assume all almanos are tzadaykeses and all grushos are monsters who “destroyed their families”…..it’s like telling a cancer patient:”why are you taking all that dumb chemotherapy?Don’t you see what it’s doing to you?”Am i coming across clearly?
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