Cookie and says who –
I’m going on what I see in shul and the neighborhood. You have truly dynamic girls (GO presidents, camp counslors, ect) marry plain vanilla bochurim. Will the boys ramp up at some point? Maybe. But from the 30 or so couples we have produced in the shul / neighborhood so far the girls are still bubbly lively girls, and the husbands are completly at a loss on how to function out of shul / learning. (Going to the grocery / dropping off the kid at the babysitter does not count as getting out into the world)
The Beshow is a great tool, but only one of the players are really ready for what lies ahead. Know how many chassidishe girls / women go shopping in Manhattan? Or read library books Loads. No how many boys /men do the same? Very few. So once the glitter of “getting married” wears thin, its just dynamic her and plain vanilla him. Had he been expected to have a real date, he would have seen the need to develop a list of likes and dislikes so he can choose someone that melds with his personality. Since there is no such expectation, he simply stays static, and when she comes to that realization, she looks for something to hold her interest. Not a good recipe.
And yes, I am aware that there are chassidishe husbands / wifes that do the things us MOs do. That comes with a whole set of challenges on its own, because they need to hide this from their kids / parents, ect. Again, not a good thing.
As far as chossid bashing; hard to do that, when its my home turf, so yeah, I know this from the inside.. its where I grew up, and still operate. So, yes, I do speak from experience