A keyboard can be played with headphones; I share your frustration with Jewish music as a mode of musical expression. I personally enjoy classical music and little “real” Jewish music which is out there.
While I personally think gays are part of the destruction of any moral fabric left in America – I don’t want the goverment enforcing anything moral. Usually, goyish moral goverments end up burning us at the stake. But your honesty is refreshing; yes, we are influenced by what we hear and see.
But I again push for the musical instrument to give you musical expression – no doubt with practice others will appreciate your skills. Maybe you can splurge on a digital instrument (again , that can be played with headphones until you reach world class?).