I may be naive, but what you post here is scary. I myself am a baal teshuvah and I met my husband the old – goyishe – way. But, truthfully, I never dated without the purpose of finding a spouse and even then dating didn’t mean “relationships.” I know it was 20 years ago, but it was in a non-frum world. I have children who not yet, but coming closer to the age of shidduchim. It really never entered my mind that they should start dating to get “used to it”. Or that a frum girl could be not a virgin (unless she was married before). I’ve heard something about “tefillin dates” and other stuff, but seriously, isn’t this the BASIC of frumkait? I mean, you could be sloppy with hashgohas when it comes to parev or milchig, or wear skirt that is too tight, etc. But even many goyim choose not to have relationships before marriage. What is going on?
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