But *if* we determine that the way you met is something that needs tshuva, then you could have charata on that aspect alone.
If a con-man swindles a home from an widow, then later says he has charatah for the way he acquired the house but refuses to give it back to the old widow (or otherwise re-compensate her), would you say that that is a true charatah? I would not. I don’t think you can truly have charatah only on the manner while keeping the benefits of the ill-gotten gains.
Whether HKBH could have otherwise paired us is irrelevant. The con-man could have otherwise bought the house legitimately too.
The Wolf