” Accordingly, it is hard to see how the men are not taking their obligation seriously.”
Not really, IMO. If they actually took their obligation seriously, they would say to their Roshei Yeshivah, their parents, and their future kallahs, that they feel uncomfortable with the idea of taking their wives away from THEIR OWN obligations, and that they believe that Hashem really wants married men to learn AND earn, so that their wives can do what they were created to do, if they sincerely desire to do so, and their parents can finally have a little menucha in life and not work themselves into an earlier grave, supporting married children who should be supporting themselves. WHEW! Longest run-on sentence, EVER!!!!!!