We know darn well what makes men tick but we are either idealistically hoping that by that point in our marriage, our husbands love us, weight and all, or we are too exhausted to deal with anything but their kids, their laundry and their food.
This has nothing to do with BY. If you want more attention from your wife, hire cooking, cleaning and babysitting help so that she doesn’t feel like a wrung-out rag at the end of every day. If you can’t do that, help her. If you can’t do that, thank Hashem repeatedly that you are blessed with a woman not only enabled you to have children who is still willing and able do all those things for the sake of you and your family.