This is how the system works:
A guy might very much want to work. He’s told that he won’t get a good, frum girl if he does. He therefore stays in learning. He then decides to say he’ll learn for a bit after he gets married and go on to work. “No,” he’s told. He won’t get a good, frum girl like that either. So he claims that he wants to learn forever.
Take it from the girls side:
A girl wants a working boy but knows that those who say they’re working probably don’t have the hashkafos they do. They therefore decide to say they want the few years learning but soon realize that that approach doesn’t work either. They conclude that they want the forever learners.
Does the boy want to learn forever? No.
Does the girl want a forever learner? No.
But in order to get the boy/girl they each want, they have to play by the system and hopefully land up with what they actually want.
Granted, it would be much easier if people can actually say what they are and want. It’s a messed up system but this is the game to play.