Of course:
i will respond to your points by the numbers
1. we must travel in very different circles. the tens of shachanim i speak do must definitely deal with plenty of “regular” folk.
3. there is certainly a burnout/frustration on the part of many shachanim. Unfortunately it can carry over to their interaction with the hordes of people they try to help. That is a direct result of the constant abuse/harrasment the endure. As someone who has set up hundreds of shidduchim you well know what’s its like to field calls non stop ALL hours the day.
4. Shadchanim owe nothing to anyone, they should certainly try their best and middos always comes first but it has reached a point of simply unbearbale for anyone who is even a part time shadchan. They have no family time, no down time, can enjoy a family simcha, etc…..
5. I apologize! Kol Hakavood
As for the solution……..
it’s quite simple