“I have a close family member who litigates divorces in the yeshivish/heimish community, and he says that 95% of divorces are the fault of the man. I also heard a big Rav saying the same thing. While yes both sides can be at faults, we have to be practical, and rescue women first, find out the facts later, or we risk losing and ruining many lives. “
I don’t know who your family member is, but I’ve been litigating such cases for quite a few years. That figure is completely wrong. Like the rest of the world, most frum divorces happen due to mundane things like loss of affection between the spouses, incessant arguing and disagreements, and are not generally the “fault” of anyone.