mewho; The last line in your post about some people that you know who let their (live-in) non-Jewish help cook a meal is very interesting because they are (most likely) eating meals from “Bishul Aku”m”. Furthermore, I don’t think that when the live-in wants to have scrambled eggs at 3 in the afternoon (or 7:30 am) she calls the owners of the house to light the fire.
cherrybim; With all the technicalities and loopholes that you enumerate, no one would be indifferent to serving cholent in dairy dishes. Besides, there is a certain ethnic group who actually practice little acts of sabotage in Jewish homes, where they are, unfortunately trusted more than they deserve.