sac: funny you write that….
here are excerpts from a shadchan’s response to someone who recently had that same comment. ….
for the record this shadchan is a saint, as 98% of the shadchanim that I have come in contact with over the last few years- she makes around 8-9 shidduchumim a year)
I am so upset I don’t know where to begin. There was so much wrong in what you wrote.
If I told you what my day was like you wouldn’t believe it.
Reality is when I can’t go on a out for a Sunday outing with my kids because I have too many people waiting for my calls to many dates to follow up to many mothers counting on me to set up their daughters.
Reality is when I can’t speak to my own married kids for days on end because I can’t manage a break to fit them in.
Reality is when hours go by and I haven’t gotten up from my chair, haven’t eaten, haven’t made supper for my children.
Reality is when my phone rings all evening and my kids after school have to help with the phones.
Reality is when I can’t go out with my friends for lunch, can’t talk to my friends on the phone and can’t share in their lives because I’m helping strangers who came to me for shidduchim.
Reality is when a whole day goes by and my husband wonders am I still alive because he can’t get thru.
Reality is rushing thru homework/ supper so I can meet the girls that are begging to be met in the evening when the are avail.
Reality is going to a melave malka, bar mitzvah,bris and missing most of it because your either texting or talking abt some shidduch that’s ongoing and needs your attention that minute.
Reality is going to bed with a stomach ache knowing how many people are counting on you and wondering how you will possibly manage to get to everyone.
Do u think its fun going to a wedding and not taking a seat. Why should people pay for me when I barely can sit down. I miss my chance to catch up with friends at a wedding.
Does anyone ever ask me if I had a chance to eat??
NEVER
everyone feels I should just be available to talk to them since I’m there anyhow.
Sac: I guess you must deal with other shadchanim
I’m curious what kind of “job” you talk about, when you say shadchanim do it as a job??
The pay certainly stinks. The typical extremely busy shadchan makes MAYBE 10 shidduchim a year and max from both sides totals 3k per shidduch (which almost never happens). That’s a lousy 3Ok for a year. That is most certainly NOT worth the bother it takes.