i posted this here:
a few months ago, but copied and pasted it in this forum again.
apushuteyid: I will try to explain my own experience. its hard for me to capture it in written words, so a) if anything is unclear, i will try to clarify if you need b) i dont know if i can adequately explain my year, so i hope this is sufficient for you.
first, please understand that each person’s experience will be different. it is entirely dependent on the seminary a person went to in discussing what/how they gained. further, not everyone who goes to sem does so for the right purposes, so the responses you get may be varied.
I am a few years out of sem, not on the “straight back from sem” high, so I am not speaking from 9 miles up in the air:
in my own experience, going to EY for seminary was life changing. i am not saying this to be dramatic, (as in: some sem girls are known for saying their sem experience was AMAZING!!!!!!!!) there were a number if contributing factors to my experience:
being in EY is a huge deal: first of all, being away from home, and spending a solid 10 months independently, is a huge tool for growing up. learning coping skills are a must: dorming is not easy, necessarily, and you learn real fast how to get along with others in a forced environment (great middos opp!) it is also tremendously liberating to be away from the environment in which you grew up. even in “open minded” homes, the fact is, that for most girls, for 18 years,sh has been in a stationary setting. moving out into something different gives her the chance to view lifestyles that may be different than what she is used to, weather that be the simplicity of life in EY, or just even stepping back to view her lifestlye in a more objective way (i am NOT discussing here the negative sides to being away from home in a “liberating” environment. thats for a diff. discussion).
also, there is no denying that living in EY for a whole year enables a person to develop a profound connection to it. the fact that there is kedusha, which she is hopefully tapping into, and special mekomos that enhance tefilla (i.e. kosel, etc), literally strengthened my year. living in EY, spending shabbasos in various cities/locations in Yerushalayim, actually seeing all the proverbial chassidim running as the shabbos siren goes off, sensing the neis of rain, etc, all the small things, are massive benefits and contributed in huge ways to my year. i would not have gotten these special advantages anywhere in the states. i think that being in EY at the same time as being in a full time learning environment, gives the dual benefit of really immersing oneself in a positive, growing environment.
my school: i went to a seminary with a whole different style of teaching and learning than i was used to. the approach of the staff, presentation of the classes, open-ness and warmth of the administration, the depth of the material i was learning, were all different than my high school experience. i developed kesharim with some of the teachers, and the things i learned from them individually (not only in the classroom, but also on a personal level) have literally set me on a derech for life. i was given the opportunity to question, and i was forced, in a way, to question myself and my place in everything i was learning. i learned to take the lessons, and apply them directly to my own life. i was forced to take some real close looks at myself and answer tough questions about my identity, my commitment, my relationship to Hashem, as well as to others, and what i want for myself in the future. i remember seeing somewhere on this forum, i think in a thread about baalei teshuvah, that at some point in life, we all need to make a choice of what we want: my turning point, where i actually felt myself in a position of choice making, was in seminary.
i learned what true growth (both personal and in Torah life–or are they one and the same?–means, i was presented with a Torah hashkafa that enabled me to clarify key points in yiddishkeit and learn what that means for myself; i learned so so much about middos, both from my peers and the staff; i was set on a “growing path”, inspired and encouraged to keep growing on my own and to constantly reach higher; i was in an environment where i felt comfortable to ask questions, and received answers that i was satisfied with…..etc. i walked away feeling empowered in my yiddishkeit, and motivated to keep learning and growing in a certain direction. i am still in touch with several teachers: i value these relationships, as i can continue to seek guidance with various aspects of my present life circumstances, and it is really meschazek me to speak with them when i need to.
note: for all you people who will say “im not the type to get close to teachers”: neither was i!! but at a certain point, i needed to swallow my pride, all of it, and get the hadracha that i knew i would need and appreciate for the rest of my life. i am still so thankful that i had this opportunity. i learned how to think for myself, not to live according to assumptions, to develop and strengthen my sense of self….etc.
everyone knows sem is different than hs (even text based ones). hs is for the sake of education (at least thats how mine seemed), while i viewed sem as a school that teaches you how to live. and thats what i did. there is something special to be said about going to school that is round the clock devoted to teaching and inspiring young women how to live b’derech Hatorah, in a way that will bring them happiness and fulfillment, weather that be learned inside from the text, or taken out and explained in class. the uninterrupted flow of the year helped me to stay focused, and it is because i was so far away from my “former” life that i was able to make such great strides in my growth, steps that have stayed with me.
peers: in personally think there is something important to be said of the fact that in sem in EY, there will be a mix of girls from all over the world. its a great opportunity to learn from all different kinds of people, with various backgrounds, and to learn from them. each sem will have a diff crowd, and you can for sure learn from the people in your environment in the states. in my personal experience, my peers and friends contributed tremendously to my year.
seminary is in no way the finishing touch: it is supposed to set a young women in a direction for life, but should in no way be viewed as the end product! if anything, i am more aware now of what i need to do, what i CAN do, and my potential, but i do not think that sem is the be all end all. its just the beginning. i am so so thankful that i had the opportunity to go to sem, and to learn what i did, from the people i learned from. i think i can honestly say that i am a very different person from before/after sem, and thats for the better.
i hope this made sense–if you need me to clarify, i’ll be happy to. hope this helps!