I have to disagree with most on this board. If you have feelings of regret there is a reason for them. (I’m assuming they’re not based on shallow things, like this is the first boy, how does she know whats out there? type of thing…or we wanted real money and this guy is from a family of mechanchim) . the RBS”O doesn’t make us feel this way for nothing. Speak it out to a Rav who knows you and can sense what your issues are, if they are valid it may be important to act on your feelings. You know your daughter well, probably better than she knows herself, and if you feel ill at ease, look deep into those reasons and seriously ask yourself if they are important. If what bothers you is a pgam in his middos, I would verify it with his Rebbe, and act upon it, very rarely can people change, and the little things you (really meaning your daughter) notice now become magnified as life unfolds. MOST IMPORTANTly, AND I KNOW THIS WORKS>>> DAVEN FOR CLARITY!! in a way you have never davened before. i teach preschool for many years and can say with almost certainty, that when a conflict arises between a parent and child and the parent does not know how to handle it, its usually because of a middah that the child possesses that is foreign to that parent (meaning it came from “the other side” . I tell Kallahs the reason its important to look at the boy’s family, and to look at the silblings, is to see if they possess middos that you can respect and identify with, because even if the chosson does not have those shortcomings, it will most likely come out in the children. And it causes alot of pain and heartache. I don;t know what your issues are, I just know usually if you feel something is wrong it probably is… Get help soon so as not to make this worse down the road. and at the very least, keep dialogue open with your daughter, listen to her as she talks about her chosson. maybe she knows him in a way you dont. or maybe she just really needs a reality check. My shitta is that you are the parent, and you don;t stop parenting until C”V one of you leaves this earth! Hatzlacha Raba..
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