What if you gave your masser money to another young man in your situation who couldn’t afford to date to help him get married, and then he did the same for you. Wouldn’t that be a way of using masser money as a chessed and tzedaka? Is that a possible loophole to this dilemma?
Or better yet, what if you gave your masser money to hachnosos kallah and maybe you will “find” the money you need to date and get married through the kind and generous chessed that you did. Mitzvah goreres mitzvah! And when you give tzedaka it comes back to you in multiples.