Sac, you touched upon a very serious issue with huge consequences. YOU have to be so totally careful NOT to hurt anyone during shiduchim. There are so many stories of couples who are childless that have to go back and ask mechilah from the ones they hurt during the shiduch process. It is no joke and something that has happened over and over again. BE VERY CAREFUL.
About a year or so ago the father of a young girl my son dated very seriously when he was 19 years old called me. (MY son is now 30). He said his daughter was married (and I know to whom) and they had only one child but for some reason that was it. His Rav suggested that she call my son and ask mechilah from him. The father made them break up because I said that I had no objection to the shidduch (they met in college) but that there was no way I would allow him to marry before he was 20. I just felt he was not mature enough and needed to work on himself in order to be a good husband. I told this to his Rosh Yeshiva and actually told the Rosh Yeshiva that although I never met the young lady I spoke to her on the phone and I felt that the Rosh needed to work with my son to smooth out his rough edges.
At any rate the father got tzehitz and said his daughter was ready then and there and he didn’t want her shlepping around and broke them up. At this point he was concerned about his “couple” and wanted to make a connection between them so that he could be moichel her. I told him there was no way I would allow her to call my son and bring ghosts into his marriage. I assured him that my son was extremely happy in his marriage and that he had 3 children and does not give his daughter a second thought. I assured him that he was completely moichel her if not right away then for sure the day of his wedding when he was moichel everyone and any one that hurt him and that it was not because of my son that she was in that situation. I bentched him that he should have great nachas from this couple and from all his children and grandchildren. We never heard from them again.