S!, then I would suggest to you, that you should go back to him and ask him. I believe that YOU need closure and mechila from this Rav. And only HE can answer you and tell you if you are right or wrong in your assumption. If he tells you that you are right and you are responsible for your own fate he might also be able to tell you what you can do to assure your children a successful future. If he tells you that you are beating yourself up for nothing and what happened has nothing to do with not following his suggestion, then that might take a big weight off your shoulders. At any rate you can ask mechila from him and get a brocha.
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