Eclipse: I know precisely what you mean by the “side stuff”. Boy, it’s so very hard. Even if you don’t ever want to do it again (never say never!), it still is very hard. I cannot really give you proper chizuk, cuz I never whent through what u did (I haven’t even done it once – yet…;)). In any event, you shouldn’t be thinking somethings not right with YOU. You’re a wonderful person with quality few people posses. May Hashem give you Gezunt Parnassa and Nachas in zchus of your suffering! (I’m sure you can use THAT…)
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