We victimize ourselves over and over again when we remind ourselves of the incident and we experience it over and over again while our abuser or victimizer goes about their lives not giving us a second thought.
How true.
So who loses out and suffers when we hold a grudge and do not forgive? We do. So really, forgiving is a gift we give ourselves and it is a self healing accomplishment.
For one incident, I think it’s only fair to forgive someone as everyone is human and could make a mistake in judgement here or there. However abuse that was done continuously is harder to forgive and may take years of work.
I think it’s easier to just let go and not delve on what was done too much. It’s important that we learn lessons from whatever was done to us i.e. how to be assertive etc. and then there’s no reason to be so focused on what happened years ago. It’s important to move on, otherwise the only person we keep on hurting is ourselves.