Health, that’s a real tough one. I can see you are very intelligent, so I’m sure you know that you need to make sure that the experience doesn’t turn into PTSD. Numbness is a great coping skill for a kid at the time of such extreme violence that unfortunately you had to witness, but it doesn’t serve people well as adults. One cannot feel much pleasure either when numb. Just as it’s not unusual for people who have neuropathy in their extremities to have the numbed area pierced w/ needles, etc., by doctors during testing…so too the numb person will unconsciously stick “needles” in situations to cause hurt so he/she could feel…
I had an experience as a young kid where I saw 2 neighbors in front of my house in such a fight over a parking spot (I use the word “adults” loosely)that one of them died on the spot (no pun intended). I remember how that was so difficult to see, but yours is way more violent.
We feel for you.