Reply To: Desperate husbands facing divorce

emunah613:

Thank you very much for your most touching words. They are very much appreciated and deeply moved me.

I find it very hard to go on alone, feeling like a “halbe-mentch”, especially after having been emotionally tossed around like a rag-doll throughout the 15+ year marriage, during which my ex-wife stopped going to the Mikvah numerous times for months a time. Lest someone say I must have been a beast and treated her in a crude, insensitive manner; on the contrary-I will have the testimony of Rabboim who will verify that I constantly consulted with my Rov how to speak to her with utmost Derech Eretz and sensitivity, how to be as humanly nice as possible to her (not just during the Chasson-Kallah period, but throughout the marriage). I went through counseling to try to become the best husband I could become etc. Now I see myself as continuing to get the raw end of the deal, after giving her the Get when she demanded it and now I can’t get my life back. Do I feel sorry for myself? I am ashamed to say: probably yes. Should I stop this behavior? Absolutely. I am looking for a Mehalech and attitude change to get the strength and Emunah to go on and to believe that there is happiness in a new healthy marriage at the end of the rainbow and to have the stamina and Simchas Hachayim to go on until I reach that time. I have so much to give to another and I am unable to do so on the proper level as long as I languish alone.

Thank you very much everyone for all your advice and support.