Reply To: how not to speak loshon hora without annoying others?!

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee how not to speak loshon hora without annoying others?! Reply To: how not to speak loshon hora without annoying others?!

#769582
m in Israel
Member

If you know the person will not respond well to telling them outright not to speak L”H, often the best thing to do is to quickly change the topic — it is actually easier then it seems to interrupt someone with “Oh! I just remembered I really wanted to tell you. . .” — at worse they’ll think you are being rude, but if your new topic is interesting enough then the moment will pass!

I stumbled on this approach many years ago by accident when I was in camp. There was a big push to be careful, and one thing going around was that if someone is starting to say something that sounds like L”H, you can use a hint to stop it. A popular one was “I smell smoke.” Well, I was with a group of girls who started speaking some L”H and I said “I smell smoke.” What I didn’t realize was these particular girls had never heard about this phrase, so they took me literally, and decided to go out of the bunk and check around. I didn’t bother explaining because the purpose was served anyway — everyone was distracted and the conversation was over!

Since then I discovered that you don’t usually need something that dramatic — conversations naturally change course all the time (just look at a typical CR thread!).

Obviously this won’t help if someone is specifically trying to tell you something — that would probably require a more direct approach, as ZeesKite discussed. However for the L”H that is constantly just coming up in conversation this works.