They’re not, if they’re going for the wrong reasons. Check the lines at most BP mikvahs on Erev Yom Kippur, and you’ll see a long line of singles. When its kedusha driven, all ages / status are welcome.
But once a year may not do the trick in your case. Seeing as how, in your sullied state, a “daily Yom kippur” might be called for, contact your local mikvah to see if you can work out a scedule (and price break!)
See? I may not “understand the situation” (at my age, these things are out of my league), but I can still see the humor in them!
All together now: LOL!