pac-man
Derech: Hashem made the decision that she should sin and do teshuva? That is what your comment seems to imply.
I think it depends on how much of a part bechirah really plays in any given nisayon. Where the nekudas habechira for a person is.
I’ve been taught to look at the past like there was no bechira, everything that happened happened exactly as Hashem wanted. My part is only in the present. Meaning before a nisayon Hashem tests me to see if I will be oiver or not. If I failed then Hashem wanted me to be oiver to see if I will do teshuvah or let it slide.
adorable:
if I was put into this nisayon and failed but I really think that it was too big of a nisayon for me so why is it my fault then that I failed?!!?!?
We can’t know whether any nisayon is too big for us or not. Hashem gives each one of them to us for reasons only He knows. Our job is to live in the present.
It’s assur to become depressed even when doing teshuvah. I’ve seen in brought down that real teshuvah that was done b’shviras halev, if it leads to depression and not happiness then it wasn’t a good teshuvah.
Whether the nisayon that you failed was your fault or not, your job is to be choizer and to put gedarim in place that it shouldn’t happen again. After that you should be happy that you were given the opportunity to perform the mitzvah of teshuvah that you would not have been able to perform before.
Everything that we are at this moment is exactly what Hashem wants us to be in order to test us for the next moment.